RabBoar Studio - Thoughts

As many of you know, the primary reason I started learning and practicing Yoga was because I heard it helped relieve back pain.  At the time I started, I was visiting the chiropractor weekly — I had a standing appointment every Friday afternoon.

Without these visit I would barely be able to walk w/o pain, and certainly sitting in front of a computer all day was challenging, to say the least.  And by Wednesday, I’d be taking a Tylenol at the beginning of my work day, another at lunch, and one before bed so I could sleep w/o too much pain.

My chiropractor never said I should come every week, but we both knew I would.

Of course, you know the story, and now I’m free from constant back pain, not that I don’t occasionally get a twinge — just like everyone — but I can usually work it out with Yoga, and if not, I still have my chiropractor.

Ten years ago, when I found a local chiropractor, after he adjusted me he showed me a exercise (from Yoga, but he didn’t know that) I could do to help strengthen the muscles so my back would stay adjusted.  I told him, jokingly, ”you know you could put yourself out of business if you show these types of exercises to people.”  And he said, “well, I want you to get better, and I figure I’ll get referrals from you when you do.”

That’s MY kind of chiropractor. 

These days some chiropractors will try to get you to sign up for the “family plan” of regular visit for a monthly set fee.  Or you are re-schedule for appointment after appointment.

But also these days, more and more chiropractors will recommend Yoga or Tai Chi or even have a physical therapist on staff.  They know that spinal adjustments aren’t enough — the muscles have to change — either to be more flexible if they are too tight, or more toned if they are too loose. 

In my opinion, if the chiropractor doesn’t recommend something to strengthen/stretch the back muscle, he/she doesn’t really want your back to get well.  He/she just wants you to keep coming for adjustment after adjustment.

As usual, our vacation was less rest than running here and there to see family and friends — which is a good thing.  My sons are doing well and are happy, and my 94 year old aunt seems actually in better health than she seemed at her 90th birthday party.

We got a quick tour (and a dinner) at my ex-husband’s new home.  He and Bonny have about 15 acres outside of State College, PA.  Bonny has 7 horses that she currently boards, so they are working frantically to get up a fence and a shelter so she can move her horses to their new home.  We even have a standing invitation to spend a long weekend with them — Bonny and I will go riding.  Yes, it is a bit unusual, but somehow Jim and I remained friends, and I really like Bonny.

My friend Maurene and I visited the Himalayan Institute in Honesdale, PA.  I’ve been getting their magazine (Yoga International, now called Yoga Plus…) for over 16 years, so I was thrilled when I found the institute would be about 1 hour from where we would be staying in the Poconos.  We looked through their extensive store, and wonder around the grounds.  At one point we were sitting by a firepit and a young man politely asked us not to sit there because it was used only for special ceremonies, so we found an even better place to sit on a swing in a pavalion looking into the woods and wildflowers.

We also stopped at their place downtown Honesdale (which is new) and had a cup of coffee.  It was nice spending time with Maurene, who just started practicing Yoga this past year because of a serious back problem she does not want to have occur again. She was laid up flat on her back for months — and she was a weekly visitor to a chirpractor for probably 20 years.  Now she is working to strenthen her back muscles to support her spine better.

David wasn’t feeling well on Sunday, so the kids and I drove into NYC to do some touristy things and spend the day with David’s nephew, Mitch.   The only thing special was when we were leaving and I cut off a NY cab driver to get into the flow of traffic.  I’m sure he was surprised that a driver with AR plates had the guts.  I even got a high five from my youngest son for doing it.  The driving in town was the most exciting part of the day…well…except when I was going through a rotating door to the subway. 

We’d bought all-day passes, and everyone else had gone through.  I scanned my pass, and instead of walking into the half-turn gap and pushing through, I pulled the next one and started to walk through and it stopped.  Then I couldn’t scan again.  A very nice young man (Chinese, I think) explained to me that I would have to wait 10 minutes to scan again at the same station (so people don’t buy one pass and all their friends can go through), then when I still looked confused he said, “here, we’ll use mine” and he scanned his card, and I went through.  He was on his way out, so didn’t need to use it right then.  That was so very nice — New Yorkers and nice, friendly, helpful people.  Anytime I’ve been there I’ve found it to be so.

The Art Fair at State College was very nice too.  Some beautiful work.  I was very good and didn’t buy anything.  But heck, it cost the artist $10,000 for a booth for this 5 day art fair.  WOW!  They need to sell a lot.  I saw a woman from Branson there.  We listened to a drum band, with some dancers doing African dance, in which a friend of Stephen’s (my youngest) was playing, and at the end a bunch of us were dancing around.  It was fun — they were very good. Visited awhile with a cousin who is going to State College.  My oldest son, Adam, and his girlfriend, Chelsea came down for the day too.  They’d also stayed two nights with us in the Poconos (Stephen too) so we could all do the NYC visit.

On the way home we stopped for lunch with my aunt, and some cousins.  It was good to see everyone, but it was a short visit.  We wanted to get to Illinois by the end of the first day’s travel, so the next day would be a short one.

All the animals were well taken care of by CeCe, and Dotti and Larry stopped by everyday to check on things too.  Thank you, my friends.  It made for a much more relaxing trip knowing you all were here.

And yes, I did practice my Yoga — twice.  The room was small, so I went down beside the inside pool.  I admit they were short practices, and the first time was Tuesday — I could feel how much tighter I was from all the driving and no Yoga.  I felt much better after practicing.

I did swim when the kids were there, and laid out in the sun a little, going into the pool to cool off, then back to the sun.  Didn’t get much of a tan though — I’ll probably do better with that here and home.

Well, time for me to do some more catching up.  I have LOTS of weeds to pull!  And more mowing to do.

The most important relationship we have in our lives is with our selves. And even though we are the only ones who are present at every moment of our lives—from birth onward—this relationship can be the most difficult one to cultivate. This may be because society places such emphasis on the importance of being in a romantic partnership, even teaching us to set aside our own needs for the needs of another. Until we know ourselves, however, we cannot possibly choose the right relationship to support our mutual growth toward our highest potential. By allowing ourselves to be comfortable with being alone, we can become the people with whom we want to have a relationship.

Perhaps at no other time in history has it been possible for people to survive, and even thrive, while living alone. We can now support ourselves financially, socially, and emotionally without needing a spouse for survival in any of these realms. With this freedom, we can pursue our own interests and create fulfilling partnerships with friends, business partners, creative cohorts, and neighbors. Once we’ve satisfied our needs and created our support system, a mate then becomes someone with whom we can share the bounty of all we’ve created and the beauty we’ve discovered within ourselves.

As we move away from tradition and fall into more natural cycles of being in the world today, we may find that there are times where being alone nourishes us and other periods in which a partnership is best for our growth. We may need to learn to create spaces to be alone within relationships. When we can shift our expectations of our relationships with ourselves and others to opportunities for discovery, we open ourselves to forge new paths and encounter uncharted territory. Being willing to know and love ourselves, and to find what truly makes us feel deeply and strongly, gives us the advantage of being able to attract and choose the right people with whom to share ourselves, whether those relationships fall into recognizable roles or not. Choosing to enjoy being alone allows us to fully explore our most important relationship—the one with our true selves.